Writerisms and other Sins: A Writer’s Shortcut to

Stronger Writing

Copyright © 1995 by C.J. Cherryh

Copy and pass “Writerisms and other Sins” around to your heart’s content, but always post my Copyright notice at the top, correctly, thank you, as both a courtesy and a legal necessity to protect any writer.

Writerisms: overused and misused language. In more direct words: find ‘em, root ‘em out, and look at your prose without the underbrush.

1. am, is, are, was, were, being, be, been … combined with “by” or with “by … someone” implied but not stated. Such structures are passives. In general, limit passive verb use to one or two per book. The word “by” followed by a person is an easy flag for passives.
2. am, is, are, was, were, being, be, been … combined with an adjective. “He was sad as he walked about the apartment.” “He moped about the apartment.” A single colorful verb is stronger than any was + adjective; but don’t slide to the polar opposite and overuse colorful verbs. There are writers that vastly overuse the “be” verb; if you are one, fix it. If you aren’t one—don’t, because overfixing it will commit the next error.
3. florid verbs. “The car grumbled its way to the curb” is on the verge of being so colorful it’s distracting. {Florid fr. Lat. floreo, to flower.}If a manuscript looks as if it’s sprouted leaves and branches, if every verb is “unusual,” if the vocabulary is more interesting than the story … fix it by going to more ordinary verbs. There are vocabulary-addicts who will praise your prose for this but not many who can simultaneously admire your verbs as verbs and follow your story, especially if it has content. The car is not a main actor and not one you necessarily need to make into a character. If its action should be more ordinary and transparent, don’t use an odd expression. This is prose.This statement also goes for unusual descriptions and odd adjectives, nouns, and adverbs.
4. odd connectives. Some writers overuse “as” and “then” in an attempt to avoid “and” or “but,” which themselves can become a tic. But “as” is only for truly simultaneous action. The common deck of conjunctions available is:
   • when (temporal)
   • if (conditional)
   • since (ambiguous between temporal and causal)
   • although (concessive)
   • because (causal)
   • and (connective)
   • but (contrasting)
   • as (contemporaneous action or sub for “because”) while (roughly equal to “as”)

   These are the ones I can think of. If you use some too much and others practically never, be more even-handed. Then, BTW, is originally more of an adverb than a proper conjunction, although it seems to be drifting toward use as a conjunction. However is really a peculiar conjunction, demanding in most finicky usage to be placed *after* the subject of the clause.

   Don’t forget the correlatives, either … or, neither … nor, and “not only … but also.”

   And “so that,” “in order that,” and the far shorter and occasionally merciful infinitive: “to … {verb}something.”

5. Descriptive writerisms.Things that have become “conventions of prose” that personally stop me cold in text.
   • “framed by” followed by hair, tresses, curls, or most anything cute.
   • “swelling bosom”
   • “heart-shaped face”
   • “set off by”: see “framed by”
   • “revealed” or “revealed by”: see “framed by.” Too precious for words when followed by a fashion statement.
   • Mirrors … avoid mirrors, as a basic rule of your life. You get to use them once during your writing career. Save them for more experience. But it doesn’t count if they don’t reflect … by which I mean see the list above. If you haven’t read enough unpublished fiction to have met the infamous mirror scenes in which Our Hero admires his steely blue eyes and manly chin, you can scarcely imagine how bad they can get.
   • limpid pools and farm ponds: I don’t care what it is, if it reflects your hero and occasions a description of his manly dimple, it’s a mirror.As a general rule … your viewpoint characters should have less, rather than more, description than anyone else: a reader of different skin or hair color ought to be able to sink into this persona without being continually jolted by contrary information.Stick to what your observer can observe. One’s own blushes can be felt, but not seen, unless one is facing … .a mirror. See above.
   • “as he turned, then stepped aside from the descending blow … ” First of all, it takes longer to read than to happen: pacing fault. Second, the “then” places action #2 sequentially after #1, which makes the whole evasion sequence a 1-2 which won’t work. This guy is dead or the opponent was telegraphing his moves in a panel-by-panel comic book style which won’t do for regular prose. Clunky. Slow. Fatally slow.
   • “Again” or worse “once again.” Established writers don’t tend to overuse this one: it seems like a neo fault, possibly a mental writerly stammer—lacking a next thing to do, our hero does it “again” or “once again” or “even yet.” Toss “still” and “yet” onto the pile and use them sparingly.
6. Dead verbs. Colorless verbs.
   • walked
   • turned
   • crossed
   • run, ran
   • go, went, gone
   • leave, left
   • have, had
   • get, got

   You can add your own often used colorless verbs: these are verbs that convey an action but don’t add any other information. A verb you’ve had to modify (change) with an adverb is likely inadequate to the job you assigned it to do.

7. Colorless verb with inadequate adverb: “He walked slowly across the room.”More informative verb with no adverb: “He trudged across the room,” “He paced across the room,” “He stalked across the room,” each one a different meaning, different situation. But please see problem 3, above, and don’t go overboard.
8. Themely EnglishWith apologies to hard-working English teachers, school English is not fiction English.Understand that the meticulous English style you labored over in school, including the use of complete sentences and the structure of classic theme-sentence paragraphs, was directed toward the production of non-fiction reports, resumes, and other non-fiction applications.The first thing you have to do to write fiction? Suspect all the English style you learned in school and violate rules at need. Many of those rules will turn out to apply; many won’t.

   {Be ready to defend your choices. If you are lucky, you will be copyedited. Occasionally the copyeditor will be technically right but fictionally wrong and you will have to tell your editor why you want that particular expression left alone.}

9. Scaffolding and spaghetti. Words the sole function of which is to hold up other words. For application only if you are floundering in too many “which” clauses. Do not carry this or any other advice to extremes.”What it was upon close examination was a mass the center of which was suffused with a glow which appeared rubescent to the observers who were amazed and confounded by this untoward manifestation.” Flowery and overstructured. “What they found was a mass, the center of which glowed faintly red. They’d never seen anything like it.” The second isn’t great lit, but it gets the job done: the first drowns in “which” and “who” clauses.In other words—be suspicious any time you have to support one needed word (rubescent) with a creaking framework of “which” and “what” and “who.” Dump the “which-what-who” and take the single descriptive word. Plant it as an adjective in the main sentence.
10. A short cut to “who” and “whom.”
    • Nominative: who
    • Possessive: whose
    • Objective: whom

    The rule:

    1. treat the “who-clause” as a mini-sentence.If you could substitute “he” for the who-whom, it’s a “who.” If you could substitute “him” for the who-whom it’s a “whom.”The trick is where ellipsis has occurred … or where parentheticals have been inserted … and the number of people in important and memorable places who get it wrong. “Who … do I see?” Wrong: I see he? No. I see “him.” Whom do I see?
    2. “Who” never changes case to match an antecedent. (word to which it refers)
       • I blame them who made the unjust law. CORRECT.
       • It is she whom they blame. CORRECT: The who-clause is WHOM THEY BLAME.
       • They blame HER=him, =whom.
       • I am the one WHO is at fault. CORRECT.
       • I am the one WHOM they blame. CORRECT.
       • They took him WHOM they blamed. CORRECT—but not because WHOM matches HIM: that doesn’t matter: correct because “they” is the subject of “blamed” and “whom” is the object.
       • I am he WHOM THEY BLAME. CORRECT. Whom is the “object” of “they blame.”

       Back to rule one: “who” clauses are completely independent in case from the rest of the sentence. The case of “who” in its clause changes by the internal logic of the clause and by NO influence outside the clause. Repeat to yourself: there is no connection, there is no connection 3 x and you will never mistake for whom the bell tolls.

    The examples above probably grate over your nerves. That’s why “that” is gaining in popularity in the vernacular and why a lot of copyeditors will correct you incorrectly on this point. I’m beginning to believe that nine tenths of the English-speaking universe can’t handle these little clauses.

11. -ing.
    

    “Shouldering his pack and setting forth, he crossed the river … “

    No, he didn’t. Not unless his pack was in the river. Implies simultaneity. The participles are just like any other verbal form. They aren’t a substitute legal everywhere, or a quick fix for a complex sequence of motions. Write them on the fly if you like, but once imbedded in text they’re hard to search out when you want to get rid of their repetitive cadence, because -ing is part of so many fully constructed verbs {am going, etc.}

12. -nessA substitute for thinking of the right word. “Darkness,” “unhappiness,” and such come of tacking -ness (or occasionally – ion) onto words. There’s often a better answer. Use it as needed.As a general rule, use a major or stand-out vocabulary word only once a paragraph, maybe twice a page, and if truly outre, only once per book. Parallels are clear and proper exceptions to this, and don’t vary your word choice to the point of silliness: see error 3.

CHERRYH’S LAW: NO RULE SHOULD BE FOLLOWED OFF A CLIFF.

This article is Copyright. Reproduction and distribution specifically prohibited. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with the author’s permission.

It makes sense, I mean the mathmatical reasoning.  Do you agree with the answer?  I am posting this just for fun.

Some may think hazing is just a passage rite or a fun part of being carefree while in college.  Others disagree.  I personally do not like hazing in any form.  Being urinated on?  It is plain insane.  What do you think?

Funny SATs answers Knick Knacks.

During his summer vacation, I started my son studying the Blue Book.  He hates it.  He really does.  It is monotonous.  I have him do reading comprehension, or the critical reading part.  He does one or two sections each week.  He still has a lot of time before the actual SAT so I am letting him go slowly. I do’nt want him to burn out before the actual SAT.  I will discuss on this topic more later, and let’s move on to the second option that we have.

Online prep courses can be very effective, especially the writing part.  I have not had my son enroll in any online courses, yet, so I am giving my ideas to you here without any experience.  If someone misses certain types of math problems, he needs to practice many similar problems in order to be comfortable.  For the reading and sentence completion parts, I think most people can do it alone.  My son is doing it alone.  He just needs to read a lot of passages and answer questions from those passages.  However, the writing part requires the help of teachers.  Writing essays with same mistakes over and over does not help anybody improve writing.  Someone needs to point out the mistakes and help correct them.  This can be done offline and that is probably more effective.  But what if you don’t have someone to help your children with writing in person?

Using an online prep course in writing seems very similar to what we do at school.  We get an essay topic, write about it, turn it in and the teacher hands the essay back to us, pointing out mistakes with suggestions on correcting them.  I have not tried any online prep courses, so I do not know exactly how they are run, but I think they do it quite similar to the way we do it offline, like in school.  You get a topic to write on, write an essay, turn it in and then get a response on the website or maybe in e-mail.  Check out this site to get an idea.  The only problem may be finding the right web site and the right tutor on that web site.  Please make suggestions if you have had experience with any online writing courses, or any type of online SAT prep courses.

Linked web site is only used as an example and I neither endorse nor disapprove it.

Some Harvard scientists have discovered a way to reprogram cells.  Harvard scientists “were able to turn ordinary mouse exocrine cells of the pancreas into beta cells, vital insulin-producing cells that die off in Type I diabetes patients. “  This basically means that they will be able to cure diabetes and possibly many others, including disease that affect the heart and the nervous system.

This experiement has been successful in a mouse model and has not been proved to be successful in humans.  There still seems to be a long way to go before this treatment method becomes practical for humans, but it is a good start.  Its possibilities may include making heart, nerve tissues and other vital organs from ordinary cells.  For further reading check out this article from The Harvard Crimson.

This article was modified from gumresq’s blog with permission.

There are different methods in making memorization efficient. Mnemonics and flash cards are undoubtedly very effective.  I will talk about mnemonics in the future and will talk about using flash cards.  Sebastian Leitner suggested a method in making flash cards very efficient when memorizing facts.  Of course, his method is called Leitner method.  You can probably google his name and find a site that explains his methods brilliantly.  What I do with flash cards is similar to his method.

I will have a deck of 3 X 5 index cards with the definition on one side and the meaning on the other side of the index cards.  I go through all of the cards once.  If I come across a card that I can not come up with the definition instantaneously, then I put that card aside.  After going through the whole deck like that, I am left with two groups of cards.  One group (group A) has the cards that I know really well, and the other (group B)has the cards that I do not know at all or know vaguely.  I go through the cards in Group B and again separate the cards.  The ones that I know really well are put into Group A.  The ones that I do not know really well remain in Group B.  Again I go through Group B and repeat as above.  I repeat this step until there are no cards in Group B.  Then I go through Group A or the entire deck of cards.  By this time, the ones I thought I knew may stumble me.  All of these are placed into Group B again.  Repeat as I have done before until all cards from Group B can be placed in Group A.  I repeat all of this again and again until I can come up with the definition on the side of the card from just the glimpse of the word on the card.  The key to this whole process is that you must be able to come up with the definition in a few words of your own.

As I repeat this process, my mind is working hard and fast.  After a 30 minute session, I sometimes get dizzy.  Some people told me that they got headaches.  So, use this method at your own risk.  But this method is very efficient.  You can memorize so much in so little time.  Making flash cards takes time, but making them also helps you learn and memorize.  To save time, I print the words and definition onto a table in a word processing software, such as MS Word.  The table has two columns.  One has the words and the other definitions (or whatever).  I print out the table.  Cut them into rows so that small strips of paper have words and definitions.  Then I fold them.  Then, I mix them up so that I never memorize them in order.

There is an easy way to do something like this.  You can try pre-made SAT type vocab testing at Free Rice dot com  or you can make your own quizzes on your computer or Palm (Check out Quizz-buddy under educational softwares on the right side).

It is a good idea to have an early look at the application forms of the colleges that your children might be interested in.  It can be a big surprise if you look at the application forms just before applying to the colleges.  These forms ask about things that you may have never thought about.  Let’s have a closer look at Harvard’s forms, for example.

From their web site, you can download 6 PDF files.  In addition to the common application form, there are online supplements, school report, teacher evaluation, mid-year report and, of course, welcome instructions.  If you look at the teacher evaluation form, you will get a glimpse of how teachers will evaluate your children.  In other forms, they ask about summer experiences, any summer schools, awards and so on.

As some professional admissions advisors recommend, if you want to put your children’s case together and present it in a way that will make your children stand out from the rest, you should look at the application forms early, even before the 9th grade.  You can “reverse engineer,” if you will, and have your children do activities that will allow them to fill in all the blanks in application forms and leave nothing to be desired. 

However, do not try to fit your children into the type of people colleges look for.  After reading and studying about college applications, I learned that you should do things that are enjoyable and be successful at doing them.  Then, the good colleges will want you to come.  So, take a look at the application forms early and keep your children busy.  It will keep them busy and keep them out of trouble, at least.

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

“Dropping the H-Bomb” is what the Harvard students call it when they let people know that they attend Harvard, and it sounds so cool.  Tons of people would do anything to be able to say it.  Am I trying to put my children into Harvard or Princeton?  Not really.  I want my children to attend a competitive school where they will get good education and have to work for it.  I want them to learn that hard work in school pays off with good grades and apply that later when they join the work force.  I want them to have the opportunities to really test their abilities and still do well. 

“A stretched mind never goes back to its original size.”  As my older son studies in high school, I want him to be prepared to do well in any college he goes.  I try to teach him how to study, how to manage his time, how to prepare for tests and etc.  I want him to make the best of his opportunities and his talents.  College should be the time to have fun, meet different people and also prepare for the future.  I want him to be ready for the right college that he chooses.  Where will he end up?  Harvard? Yale? UCLA? or???  I will let you know in about 3 years; so, keep reading!

Please, feel free to leave your comment.